Ennui

Background

This is an old song. I wrote the lyrics back when I graduated and first started working. I was caught off guard going from

idyllic college days of skipping class and hanging with friends —> entering the work force and doing the same thing almost every day.

Those were some

a n g s t y d a y s

Writing this song helped me vent.

After years of this song collecting dust in my hard drive I recently finished it and decided to release as my four songs in January release plan.

I wrote the lyrics, performed and produced it and got it mixed off Soundbetter.

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Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Haven’t I seen you before
New shoes new looks new haute couture 
But when I look into your eyes you look so bored
Like once upon a time seen it all before so

Ennui,
Are we
On fleek
All week
All chic
All sittin pretty, please

Same things 
Same plan
Same game
Same dance
Same places
All the same faces 

I don’t remember what I did 
Last week, that week
It could have been something
These days it don't make any sense 
Who am I, who’s this 
Am I still a human?

Slipping by in a blur 
It’s all the same to me 
I’m feeling just a little absurd
Is this the way to be?
I don’t understand it, 
I’m trying
call this a living or dying
I wanna feel alright again
I wanna feel alive

[Chorus]
If you ain’t lovin what you livin
Why you livin at your limits
Seems to me like that’s your business
Better finish it right

Don’t wanna waste my time with wishing
This my life I ain’t just kicking it
Witness me I’mma finish it
Before it’s too late

They say I’ll live to ninety eight
And I don’t wanna spend a second on a thing I hate
One minute you be living and the next you ain’t
And I don’t got the time to look around and try to wait

So tell me what I need in my masterpiece
You know I’d give it all away to be a master please
And I don’t wanna feel this feeling too disastrously
Let me turn it all around and go back to me

[Verse 2]
Let me go and grab Scooby Dooby
Get up in that van and start moving
Cause right now there’s a mystery
I’m missing me
Got everything I think I need, but

Pick up my heart it feels empty
Look at the stars I feel empty
Y’all do me harm I feel empty
Things fall apart I feel empty

What happened to the things I love
What happened to the one that I were
What happened to the flashes of passion
I’m wondering what all of it’s for 

So I guess I gotta pass it or smash it
It’s over in a dash man
You calling it a marathon 
I’d call it more a crash man
I’m running round inside the box I guess I’m just a pacman
I’m missing what I used to feel you gotta take me back 

[Chorus]
If you ain’t lovin what you livin
Why you livin at your limits
Seems to me like that’s your business
Better finish it right

Don’t wanna waste my time with wishing
This my life I ain’t just kicking it
Witness me I’mma finish it
Before it’s too late

They say I’ll live to ninety eight
And I don’t wanna spend a second on a thing I hate
One minute you be living and the next you ain’t
And I don’t got the time to look around and try to wait

So tell me what I need in my masterpiece
You know I’d give it all away to be a master please
And I don’t wanna feel this feeling too disastrously
Let me turn it all around and go back to me

[Outro]
I got everything I need everything I want now.
So why am I so empty I don’t even know how
Going after something it’s nothing 
What am I running for 
Moving for the motion
No potion
The thing I’m running towards

And it’s getting kinda stuffy in my chest
Running out of air I’m feeling out of breath
If I ain’t living am I living am I dead?
They say I’m spending too much time inside my head 
But I dread it, time goes but I go slowly 
There ain’t no encore. I leave when I leave
I do what I do
I move how I move 
So why can’t I just
Break these feelings 

I don’t want grow too old. Too grey. 
Don’t want to lose today
and find my life has passed me 
Come what may come up today
Gotta do what I do what I do and get past this